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(step on the gas and wipe that fear away)

just a thought :) [12 Jul 2012|01:52pm]
Did you see the sunrise this morning? Or were you thankful for another breath this morning? Maybe you woke up mad at someone or something. What if today was your last day on this world. Would those (trivial) things really matter?

"The spirit of kyokushin means to do your best, until the last moment." I was watching, "The Fighter in the Wind" when I came across this. I think this is very fitting for a world we all "believe" we've grasped. I've at least felt like that lately and haven't used my time as wisely as I should have.

I know I'll never have today back. I know I can't count on tomorrow. The intangible thing I have is now. Have you ever noticed how pain makes you feel the seconds tick by and fun and laughter makes the time fly? How we choose to paint the world each day is determined by how we percieve time. If today was your last day, would the spirit of Kyokushin hold true in your life?

Pain makes you feel the seconds tick by.

(step on the gas and wipe that fear away)

[15 Oct 2009|11:15am]
If you dream toward me, I'll dream toward you and we'll meet in black river falls

(step on the gas and wipe that fear away)

another post from yours truely :) [13 Aug 2008|07:33pm]
[ mood | contemplative ]

A certain someone I know keeps bringing up the question of, "What's so great about Obama?" His point was that people don't really know the facts and they just vote for people who are part of their political party. McCain was on the television the other night and I think he was talking to people in Albuquerque, New Mexico. We watched it for a little while. We both agree that whether McCain or Obama wins the presidency it will be an improvement over Bush. I gently ask the question about McCain and the answer I receive is along the line of this:

[McCain is more experienced than Obama in politics and in war. The president, commander-in-chief, should have plenty of experience.]

That sounded convincing until someone else walked into the room. Someone who had been in the military for the couple years, stationed in both Iraq and Afghanistan. Someone who looked at McCain and called him a douche bag. Also a bit convincing.

But neither of these reactions or opinions from other people, hope,are going to make up my mind. So I did some digging... hmmmmmmm

The first thing that caught my eye, and probably the most influential, is McCain's stance on abortion. He wants to overturn Roe V. Wade. One of my most fundamental values is that people should not be able to make someone do something they do not want to do, right???

Oppression against a person involving reproductive capacity, to me, is rape. I'll put it another way: To me, forcing someone to conduct behavior against their will in the context of reproduction is rape. Now that I've put that out there, I want to say that I am not trying to discount or compare levels of suffering between people who have been violently and forcibly sexually assaulted and people who are forced to bare a fetus and give birth. But I will point out that statutory rape is by no means necessarily marked by force and that sometimes people who agree to sexual relations or give birth suffer a great deal of pain. It is a loaded word and I am willing to change my vocabulary if someone ever brings a more appropriate term to my

Obama supports the right to choose.

Another thing that pisses me off is that McCain wants to lower taxes on corporations. I believe that the only way a government works is to collect taxes.
I have been called a socialist and a liberal for say things like that. So what? Why do people make bad words out of things?

I realize this conflicts with my prime directive, but without compromise, there would be no government. Either government exists because it is there to control the people, or government exists to protect the people and provide for the common good. I believe in the latter.

My problem with lessening taxes on these people is that it means the people with the highest advantage, receiving the greatest benefits of government are now paying even less, doing less, to support it. I don't believe in that. One of the biggest quotes of why the damn country started was, "No taxation without representation." Why should there be representation without taxation? And to a point, taxation is figurative. I don't expect an unemployed person to pay taxes, but I do believe they shouldn't be left behind. Are these not common values of good people, religious people, spiritual people?

Obama wants to raise taxes for the wealthiest Americans and for corporations.


So far I have covered two very important values of mine. McCain and Obama do not necessarily disagree on everything, though I would think that put head-to-head they would try to differentiate themselves by pointing out differences. And even these lists do not represent the men completely. My link above from the Herald states that both men support gay marriage, but type in "mccain on gay marriage" in google and you'll find videos and quotations that point to either way. In fact, the videos and quotations points to either way!!! huh?

"I do not believe gay marriage should be legal." And with those words, McCain has sided with the Nazi party for all purposes of respect. McCain has his own ideas and values, which seem to often enough be mutually exclusive to my own ideals.

This video is better. McCain is still against same sex marriage, but he doesn't drop the bomb in the same fashion:

McCain does not support human rights. What else is there to talk about? Experience? Military experience? The man spent about six years as a POW. That is an experience that deserves condolence, not merit for presidential success. Oops, I just cheapshoted him.

I now feel justified wanting to vote for Obama. McCain contradicts my values and to vote for him or even to like him would not be consistent with my own beliefs. And for the crucial issues that I've pointed on, Obama is on my side.

(step on the gas and wipe that fear away)

ME LIKEY! - (this is an idea i want to turn into a poem) [09 Feb 2008|04:00pm]
[ mood | calm ]

i want to feel like art... i want a guy to look at me and be awed, wowed, because my body has its own sort of grace...like my body is an orchestra, all the different instruments working together to create a powerful effect. isn't that what beauty is? (not just "hotness" or sexiness... call me old fashioned, but guys having hard ons every time i pass isn't what i want. i just want someone to feel better, happier, when they see me.) i want to make him, someone, happy, i want something to show off... i want to look at myself and smile. it's its own sort of wisdom.

i want him to trace the marks with his fingers, playing the instruments [for himself], to be fascinated with it. to kiss me gently on the shoulder, kissing with love, affection, from subconscious control. something he can't control. to just sit there naked with him. i want him to draw on me... i want to see through his eyes what he would create. is he a painter... sculpture... sketcher?

(step on the gas and wipe that fear away)

call corny, call it hopefull [08 Feb 2008|03:04am]
The future is you,
The future is me,
It can be us that sets Darfur free
And prevent a world catastrophe.
It will be us that lead,
Lay down and sew the seed.
We can give what all need;
It's true, troubles will never leave,
But maybe we can make a dent, leave a cleave.

(5 sweet dreams | step on the gas and wipe that fear away)

[07 Aug 2007|03:51pm]
[ mood | weird ]

I am very weird... i just got home from the beach... and hadn't eaten all day, so I thought a sandwich would be a good idea. i have lately been thinking about the goodness of peanut butter and banana sandwiches, but - ALACK! The lone banana, reigning boldly over a court of browning apples, has turned spotted and ugly. i forged on with my sandwich dreams. peanut butter - JIF, crunchy, - spread onto a slice of bread. But what to add to it?

...I made a peanut butter and feta cheese sandwich.

...I actually ate it.

...It was really good.

I am very weird.

(step on the gas and wipe that fear away)

[05 Aug 2007|04:10pm]
[ mood | chipper ]

(2 sweet dreams | step on the gas and wipe that fear away)

[21 Jul 2007|04:27pm]

You Should Be A Poet

You craft words well, in creative and unexpected ways.
And you have a great talent for evoking beautiful imagery...
Or describing the most intense heartbreak ever.
You're already naturally a poet, even if you've never written a poem.

(step on the gas and wipe that fear away)

what are you afraid of? [21 Jul 2007|02:27pm]
[ mood | blah ]

ive been in bed all day... kinda bored but cant get out of bed.  (hung over)  so i decided to answer the lj question. what are you afraid of?  this is interesting.
how life was sooo much easier when i was young. i used to be afraid of things that went bump in the night. as a child... the closet was where all the 'monsters' hung out.i never went to the bathroom at night... i was terrified that someone might grab me and take me under.
yeah..  those were the goood old days.  ha
NOW... im afriad of billls not getting paid, my keys are missing, paying for school.

life was easier when i was afraid of monsters in my closet.  *sigh*

oh and whats alll this hype about harry potter? i dont get it.

(2 sweet dreams | step on the gas and wipe that fear away)

love/hate [18 Jul 2007|02:33pm]
[ mood | lazy ]

i wish I weren't a writer. that's a blasphemous thing to say... and I might not feel that way yesterday or tomorrow, but it's true right now. i told a friend the other day and  he echoed this earlier: writers write because they have to... because some force says: words are sacred. before you can even speak ..or make a conscious decision, you are either a writer or you aren't one. and words are your only reason and words are your biggest curse, because you prize them so dearly and the more you learn about them.. the more you realize how useless they are. you can never say precisely what you mean. and I'm not sure I want to say precisely what I mean, because then - that gets into a whole issue of definitions (and the ensuing implications of the finite) that I'm not in the mood for.

(5 sweet dreams | step on the gas and wipe that fear away)

uuggghhhhh.... [18 Jul 2007|12:45pm]
couldnt sleep last night. baby tried to molest me :(

(step on the gas and wipe that fear away)

i dont know what to title this but its another blah blah from me :) have fun. [17 Jul 2007|10:25pm]
[ mood | peaceful ]

I feel like dreaming... I feel like liking someone right now... I feel like lying in someone's arms and not caring...I feel like wandering through a strange city... I feel like not being me sometimes... I hate being fitful... I hate being utterly incapable of expressing myself sometimes... I like my brother; he's a good kid, even if he does have really unspeakably bad taste in music... I like my feet, but I hate my toes... I have consumed a whole bag of potatoe chips, and a mediocre movie... I feel like dancing, but i should go to bed...I like dancing...i hate that im shy , but I lhave other  good qualities nonetheless... I already said it: but I hate that I am fitful.... I am. ...I hate that there's something burning inside me to say, and I feel like I don't have the right to say it.... I want to kiss under the stars tonight.

complete this sentence.

i want _______ .

i LOVE this quote
"Think positively about yourself.... ask God who made you to keep on remaking you."  ~Norman Vincent Peale

(1 sweet dream | step on the gas and wipe that fear away)

[17 Jul 2007|04:01pm]
Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the
right one, so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be

i like this quote. dont know who it s by but its cool

(step on the gas and wipe that fear away)

hmmmmmm.... [17 Jul 2007|03:09pm]
[ mood | nostalgic ]

i digged this up from four years ago... i was 20 years old! hahah i would change a couple (one espeically... i would not sleep with mark mcgrath ha)  but most are still very true!

What was the first record you owned?
Erasure - Chorus

What was the first record you ever bought?
aahliyah - age aint nothing but a number

If you had a member of the opposite sex coming over and you wanted to impress them, what would you hide?
the dixie chicks - fly and the marshal mathers lp. im not ashamed of owning either of them, but that sort of admission is clearly a 'second date' type revelation.

Is there as song that reminds you of your childhood?
Captain Sensible - Happy Talk

If you could spend a night with 5 musical artists, 3 for their minds and two for their bodies, who would they be?
Mind 1) Art Alexakis (Everclear)
Mind 2) Eric Clapton
Mind 3) Mozart
Body 1) Rob Thomas (Matchbox 20)
Body 2) Mark McGrath (Sugar Ray)

If your life was a movie, what song would you play over the following?
opening credits: the ataris - looking back on today
love scenes: the beatles - across the universe
closing credits: depends - it would have to suit the mood of the end of the movie, and I don't know how this movie ends yet.....

What do you listen to when you are...?
Happy: elton john
Sad: fiona apple
Angry: i dont listen to music when im angry
Drunk: dance music/ whatever is played at a club

Name one musical artist you would like to see banished:
justin timberlake

Name one musical genre you would like to see banished:

Name a song you would rather never hear again:
I dunno ... I tend not to dwell on the negative

Name and album that is perfect all the way through:
erasure - chorus. every album of the last decade has had some sort of flaw in it... you have to go back to a time before you could really assess music in the same way to find one without.

Music you like that could be considered a guilty pleasure:
garth brooks? :)

Is there a song that described you or a situation you've been in so well that you could have written it?
good-bye to you - michelle branch

Which underrated artist deserves more attention?
Audio Karate

Has a song or artist changed your life in anyway? if so, how?
Hmm, dean martin and frank sinatra helped me become more of a romantic :)

Best music related movie:
moulin rouge / empire records

Current favourite radio hit?
anthom - good charlotte

(7 sweet dreams | step on the gas and wipe that fear away)

welll rested! [17 Jul 2007|12:13pm]
[ mood | awake ]

i slept very soundly last night and apparently I needed it... my mind went crazy and graced me with a frightening dream.
i dreamt that i was being harvest for my phsychadelic qualities. ha little people were chasing me with knivies and forks. they were wearing bibs.   its funny now that i think of it. 
 i woke up this morning feeling like a million bucks again! felt like doing nothing more than driving around in the rising sun. its beautiful... iim very happy here in huntington beach.  been here a little over two weeks and im thinking why'd it take me so long?

im getting some nice color again! been out in the sun everyday and i loooooooooooooooooooooooooove it.  might take sugarbaby out again later; she adores it, but looks like the sun is back in hiding :(

(step on the gas and wipe that fear away)

thought this was funny. a little tribute to the whole soccer thing going on now :) [16 Jul 2007|11:39pm]
[ mood | tired ]

(7 sweet dreams | step on the gas and wipe that fear away)

hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!! im back :) [16 Jul 2007|10:18pm]
[ mood | naughty ]

I learned a new word....

crepitation - A rattling or crackling sound like that made by rubbing hair between the fingers close to the ear.

This came about during a conversation with a friend the other day. "I've got crepitus in my wrist!" "You made that up." "No, it's a word! Crepitus, it's the sound bones make when they're broken or rub together." "I don't believe you." "Look it up!"  haha

Crepitus, it turns out... is the noise produced by a sudden discharge of wind from the bowels.

Crepitation is the word she wanted. I think it's lovely!

Disclaimer: actually, the dictionary tells me that "crepitus" is the same thing as "crepitation," but isn't the image of my mother's wrist expelling gastric wind wonderful?

i love it and will use it very often!!

well anyway... how are my lj'ers?  i've been gone for quite a bit but i promise not to abandon my journal again!

(step on the gas and wipe that fear away)

sunny day [10 Apr 2005|02:39pm]
[ mood | hungry ]

Ah, there's colour in my cheeks.. Not too much, but enough to make me want some more.. i was at the beach today...a nice lie down in the sun was good.. The fact that the beach is practically on my doorstep is definitely a bonus... well closer than it would be if i was still in nyc!I took my book on dieting with me too, to try to do a bit more reading on body health and management. i've decided to start eating and living healthy :)

okie dokie im off to get some new summer clothes, to match my new complexion

But first - lunch! My first principle is that work must be done on a full stomach :o)

(step on the gas and wipe that fear away)

[20 Jan 2005|03:16pm]

You Have A Type A Personality


You are hyper, energetic, and always on the mood
You tend to succeed at everything you attempt
And if you don't succeed at first, you quickly climb your way to the top!

You could be called a workaholic, but you also make time for fun
As long as it's high energy and competitive, you're interested
You have the perfect personality for business and atheltic success

(step on the gas and wipe that fear away)

I'm not fickle, I'm merely a victim of exceptional circumstances [13 Jan 2005|02:50pm]
[ mood | nostalgic ]

Ah, it's funny looking back on it all.. Reminding myself that there was a time when I allowed myself to feel guilt, or more to the point, bring myself to admit it.

Disregard - this is all nostalgia-induced blah blah blah, brought on by tidying up some of my room earlier..

I suppose the main thing is that I used to allow myself a little depth.. If that's actually what it was - personally I suspect that it might have just been angst, masquerading as depth so that I could feel more interesting, back when I cared. Mood swings are fine up to a point, but they're shit if you actually want to do anything with your time.

Compared to all that, I'm so very numb right now.. which isn't so much to say that I feel nothing - rather that what I do feel is pretty unchanging. A while ago, I'm sure I said something about stability being overrated. These days, it's a comfort, a necessity.. Knowing that life isn't going to change drastically, and that I'm not about to throw myself into an emotional chasm, means that there are far fewer things to worry myself over.

I had somewhere I was going with this, but I've since lost it..

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